


Don't let it define you

by AnkaBaiam



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Suicide Attempts, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-16
Packaged: 2019-04-23 15:59:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14335995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnkaBaiam/pseuds/AnkaBaiam
Summary: Even just found out he is bipolar. He wants to be alone in the planetarium but the boy keeps talking to him and saving him in the end





	Don't let it define you

Isak worked in this scientific museum for 2 years now. During his last year on Nissen he found that poster from small local Planetarium/museum looking for young people, who would like to work there and he signed almost immediately.

The people working there were really nice and Isak liked the planetarium mood. First he worked in the dressing room, but later he promoted to a guide. He used to walk around the planetarium, answering people questions, showing exhibitions, explaining Newton laws and so on. And he loved his job.

It was Friday night and Isak was one of the last workers and people in the small building. There was 10 minutes left before closing, so Isak went on small tour through the museum to see how many people are left and in case warn them that the museum is closing.

All the rooms and exhibitions were close, Isak thought he is the last person in the building, but when he entered in the last room he saw a boy sitting there, watching the screen in front of him.

"Excuse me," Isak said, entering the room, getting the other boys attention, "we are closing in five mi-" he stuttered when he saw the boys eyes, they were red, he must have been crying a lot, "-nutes." The boy just nodded, looking down on his hand, drying his eyes quickly. "Sorry I will leave." but he didn't seem to be planning on leaving anytime soon.

Isak sighed. What could he do?

"Are you okay?" he asked, sitting on the bench next to him, keeping a space between them to not make the other boy uncomfortable. The boy looked on him, smiling sadly, "Yeah." he whispered, "Sorry to bother you… I just needed place to be alone… you know…" Isak nodded. "It's okay. I am not in rush." Offering the boy a smile. They were sitting there in silence for while, the boy looking on the screen in front of him. Isak was watching him.

He was really nice. His blond hair brushed up, blue eyes, he wasn't wearing much clothes and it was pretty cold outside. _Oh gosh but these eyes._ Anyway he probably had some girlfriend so it didn't matter. Isak saw him before, but he probably never noticed him. Someone as handsome as this boy wouldn't be ever interested in someone as boring as Isak.

"It's called Hubble eXtreme Deep Field," Isak said, looking from Even on the screen in front of them, "they released that picture in 2012, 25th September." Isak chuckled for himself, he still remembers the day, he was a small boy, so excited about these news, immediately finding it on internet and exploring it very detaily. "You can see there the pictures of the oldest galaxies and farthest-away galaxies, the farthest-away galaxies are 13.2 billion light-years from Earth… which is pretty cool when you think about it. It's like looking in the history." Isak looked on the left and pointed on the another screen, "There you can see pretty cool video, that's what I am talking about." The boy moved a little bit, so he got better view on the video Isak was talking about, "People always think how huge world is, but it actually isn't… Earth is so ridiculousy small. Compare Earth to the biggest planet in our solar system- Jupiter… Earth is only the fifth largest planet in our solar system… And now compare it to Sun… the Earth looks just like a tiny ant next to it… pretty wild isn't it? But that's not all! Now let's compare Sun to the other stars! Sun is small, comparing it for example to Sirius… it's nothing…" Isak paused for while, "And yet here we are. Humans. On our small planet. It can seem lonely. But I guess it's still better than to be attacked by alliens, right?" he chuckled.

Isak wasn't sure what he was doing. This boy was apparently having some problem and wanted to be alone- he said so, and even thought, Isak was sitting here sharing his thoughts.

But when he looked on the boy, he saw he wasn't crying anymore. Maybe it works? Isak thought. "Come on," he said as he stood up, "I will show you around." he wasn't sure if the boy will follow him in the next room, but when he turned around, he was standing right behind him, his blue eyes looking straight into Isak's. Isak smiled nervously, "Ever heard about Lajka?" he asked, not even expecting the other boy to response, " people wrongly say she was the first animal sent in universe… but there were many animals before her. For example the really first animals to be sent in universe were just some insects, such as drosophila. They also sent a monkey… but Lajka… she was a russian stray dog… they trained her for a long time, but during the start it just was probably too much and just few hours after she left the land she died, on over heat…" Isak paused, looking on the pictures on the walls, "she was a beautiful dog. People do crazy things in name of science…" he moved to the next picture. "People can think it's weird to care that much about some stray dog.. But I just… don't want her to be forgotten…" he stuttered, "we had the same kind of dog at home you know?" he chuckled, "I persuaded my parents to call her Lajka." the other boy seemed to smile a little bit. _Isak cheered himself in his head._

In the next room Isak explained to Even the mission on Mars. The Curiosity and explained that before things film be such as in the movie 'The Martian' the humankind has a long way to go.

Even listened to him, not saying anything but paying attention. He nodded sometimes, Isak even managed to make him smile few times.

"Have you ever been in the planetarium itself?" Isak asked, Even shook his head. "Alright let's go." They entered the round room with a mashine in the middle. "Just take a seat," Isak pointed on the rows of seats, "I will turn on the machine, but Even didn't sit, he followed Isak to the control table and sat on one of the closest chairs. "Okay." Isak chuckled, turning off the lights and projecting the stars on the dark walls of planetarium. Then he sat on the chair next to Even. He loved this room. Everything suddenly became quiet and he was

He wanted to tell the boy everything about the stars, constellations but before he could say anything, the boy spoke up.

"I am bipolar." He whispered. Isak looked at him. He couldn't see him quite well but he was  sure the boy was crying again, he sounded so sad. Isak didn't say anything, giving the boy more time to think about it and maybe say something more. "I just found out," he said after while, "and it's so fucking hard... To be there in the doctor's office. Seeing the faces of your parents, how they realize that their kid is fucking crazy." Isak shook his head. "You're not crazy." He said kindly, touching the boys shoulder carefully. "I'm bipolar, my mind is fucked up." "That's not true." Isak said, stroking the boys shoulder slowly, "I am sure your parents love you no matter what." "You can't know that." The boy said harshly. "Du er ikke alene." Isak whispered. "Hm?" "Just… something I use to say to my mother…" Even frowned. "My mother has shizophrenia," Isak said quietly, he usually didn't talk about it, "but she is not crazy, nor are you." He saw how the boy shook his head. "I did some stupid stuff in my school and now my school knows me as that crazy." Isak took his hand from the boys shoulder. "You can't let your illness to define you." He said, holding the boys hand. He wasn't quite sure why he was doing all this, but he just felt it was right. "If you're feeling all sad for yourself then you can't expect people to behave to you any different." The boy was looking on him, "Before I came out I was so freaking deep in closet," he chuckled at that memory, "I thought that if anyone knew they would hate me. Especially my friend Jonas, because I was in love with him and kind of sabotaged his relationship." He paused, "And then this girl who was madly in love with me and just couldn't take the hint that I am not interested... And when she found out she just told everyone." He felt how the other boy squeezed his hand lightly, "and I felt so ashamed. I saw all the eyes looking on me and I thought that they all hated me. And in the end my mother could see how sad I was all the time and so I told her." Isak wiped the tear with his free hand. "And honestly I was so scared of her reaction, because she is very religious, but she told me how much she loves me, no matter what, and after that... If my own religious I'll mother could accept me, why couldn't the others as well?"

The boy haven't say anything, just sitting there in quiet.

"When you accept yourself for who you are thalen the others will as well. You're not just a guy with bipolar. You are so much else! I.. don't know what you study? Just for example..." "Movies." the boy whispered, "Have you seen 'The beautiful mind?" The boy nodded, "That's it, you know, you can't give up, because of your friends, because of your family, if you don't fight for yourself, than fight for them." "My 'Alicia' broke up with me…" "So what? She is the one who is loosing you. I believe you find someone better for yourself, someone who will love you for who you are." The boy smiled before he asked, "So what? Should I run around and ask people if they want to date me even though I am bipolar?" "And so what? It's part of you. People are deaf, blind, handicap and it doesn't mean they will never be happy." "But they ask stupid questions."

Isak laughed quietly. "What?!" the boy asked, "I just… you remind me of my good friend, she said very similar thing.. So I will give you the same answer." He moved in his chair a little, "It doesn't matter how stupid questions they are asking, because they are just humans. They don't know everything. At least they are trying to understand, so answering these, maybe stupid, questions is very important. Because if you don't answer them, they will make their owns, which can be so far from truth. And that's dangerous. So answer the questions." The boy didn't say anything and so they sat in quiet again.

After few minutes the boy's phne started ringing. "You should take it." Isak said, but the by shook his head, "It's probably just my mother." "Yeah… see? She still cares about you. She always will." "She just wants to make sure I am not drinking or smoking and taking my meds. She's just controling me." "She just wants to make sure you're okay." "I am not a child anymore." he said harshly, "Then maybe you should talk to her, don't you think?"

The boy fell quiet again for few seconds. "You're right… I held you long enough…" "Don't think about it… it's always nice to talk." Isak smiled as he turned on the lights again.

"Thank you." The boy said as he was leaving the building. "I really do." "It's alright." Isak said, locking the door behind them. "I hope you will think about the stuff I said, you deserve to be happy." The boy smiled, and gosh, Isak loved that smile already. "Isak." he suddenly said, the boy shook his hand. "Even."

"See you around Even." Isak said with smile, going on the tram, leaving Even behind himself.

 

 

FOUR MONTHS LATER

Isak and Even just came in Even's parents house. Isak was of course nervous, because meeting Even's parents… that's big right?

 

They have been dating for almost 4 months now. Even came back to the planetarium 3 days later, looking much more rested and smiling. He invited Isak on dinner and who he was to refuse? The rest didn't take too long. Even was really easy to talk to, so no wonders they started dating soon. Isak also found out that Even knows Sana, because he was friend with her brother. Hopefully he didn't know that he told him the same as to Sana.

 

"Isak." Even took his hand, "chill, they will love you." "How do you know?" Even chuckled and kissed him on the lips. "I just do."

Before Isak could say anything else the door opened. "Hi!" An older woman greeted them. "Hi Even," she said, kissing Even's cheek. "And you must be Isak!" Isak smiled, "It's nice to meet you madam." "Oh Liv please!" She chuckled, "your father will be here any minute." She said looking on Even. Let's go inside.

"It's nice to finally meet the young man who saved our son." Even's father said as he shook his hand. Liv nodded, "Thank you so much Isak." Isak frowned looking on Even who was sending death stares to his parents. "I am just being here for him." He smiled, holding Even's hand. Even smiled on him nervously. "Should we eat?" He asked his parents.

They talked about Even's childhood which was a lot of fun (more for Isak than Even), then about Isak's school and so on. It was really nice evening and Isak already understood after whom Even got his charm and all that. His parents were great.

 

When they were laying in the bed later that night, Even was suspiciously quiet.

"What's wrong?" Isak asked, unable to stand the silence anymore. Even looked on him, smiling sadly. "Just thinking " he answered quietly. "About what?" "How you saved my life." Isak chuckled, "You saved my life as well Even." He kissed him softly. Even pulled a little bit away from Isak. "But it's not the same." "What are you talking about?" Isak frowned. Even continued watching the ceiling. "Even?" Even sighed and looked on Isak. "Promise me to let me talk and don't be upset on me." He said. "What?" Isak chuckled nervously. "Just promise me." "Okay... I promise." He smiled.

"I saw you in the museum before that night. And I knew who you were... And honestly I came there not because I wanted to be alone... I just wanted to see you one last time..." He paused, looking on Isak to see if he was reacting somehow. "What are you talking about Even?" "Shhh," he interrupted him, "I booked a motel room that evening, because if I did it here... They would accuse my parents of help and I didn't want them to suffer even more. I..." He felt the tears coming from his eyes same as Isak.

"But there you were. You started talking to me and I honestly thought that world could be better place again. I couldn't anymore go to that motel and end things. Because I felt that things could be good. That life could be worth it again." He stuttered, "You saved my life Isak."

Both boys were quietly crying in the bed, Isak came closer to Even and hugged him tightly. "Du er ikke alene." Her whispered and Even couldn't help but to chuckle. "I love you Even." "I love you too Isak."

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you like it. Please leave kudos or comment :)


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